Monday, July 21, 2008

Part 1 of Vacation Horror

I decided against better judgment to write about the horror on my annual spring-break trip to visit the Keeper.

The Diva and I were going to Florida, sans anyone else from the household. Yea, the freedom we would have. To do nothing and the Diva being old enough to care for herself. The countdown began for my stress free vacation ahead of me.

Enter my Sister, upset with her man and wanting herself and her son to come with us.* I am thinking okay, this shouldn't be too bad. This is where I should stop thinking. So I make their reservations for them and explained to my sister that I am not going to be entertaining and this was suppose to be relaxing for me because I know her son gets bored VERY, VERY easily. **

I don't think my sister had traveled in quite some time. I received about five calls a day leading up to this vacation from her, asking every possible question from the getting to the airport to landing home. When she heard something she didn't like she would call my mom and complain to her and we hadn't even left yet. Like that was going to get her anywhere. She was already pissed off at me before we left because she had been talking to her friend. Her friend had been filling her head with different activities that are possible in Florida. The only activities I was wanting to partake in were laughing with the Keeper, eating, reading a few books and sunbathing. Well, she wanted to go on a dolphin cruise. This is how that went down:

Her - I want to take C on a dolphin cruise
Me - NO NO NO NO NO!!!
Her - Why? You don't want to take Diva to see the dolphins?
Me - Uh, No.
Her - Well I want to do something we don't get to do all the time.
Me - Okay, I'll draw you a map when we get there, I am not stopping you.
Her - I don't understand why you don't want to do this.
Me - Because I can take her to where the boat docks and she can see them there at no cost to me. Besides she is kinda to cool to do things like that now.
Her - I don't know my way around.
Me - Hello, I'll draw you a map. Not that hard.

Mind you we haven't even left yet. This is how one of our many conversations went. Mom was about as stressed as me. This is going to be FUN!!!!

* She is very neurotically obsessive. I love her anyway, and I do like spending time with her, just not my stress free vacation.
** My nephew who is 14 was a preemie and has since almost died twice (1. hit by a truck, 2. bacterial meningitis) so my sister caters to his EVERY whim.


Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Doesn't sound fun...

Hallie :)

Caution said...

I really understand "vacations" like that. Yikes.

Keeper Of All Things said...

OK listen up people .....if you want to come to Florida and run around doing the mouse and all that other shit ....don't expect me to do it with you!!!!!
However if you want to relax and soak up the nothing......I'm your gal....
I speacialize in doing nothing!!!!
Trained for the Olympics of nothingness!!!!!!!

Lori said...

I hope you drank. A LOT!!

I'm with The Keeper. Just give me a beach/pool, some cocktails, a book and I'm all set - Everyone else with plans other than that can kiss my ass!!

Big Hair Envy said...

I don't believe that all of that endless running around constitutes a vacation. When we go to the beach, I make one trip to the grocery store and I don't leave the cottage the rest of the week!!!

Samantha said...

A well-written post. I agree with you about the need to stop procrastination. You can find more help at This website also has plenty of easy ways you can use to stop procrastination.

Keeper Of All Things said... anyone else kinda freaked out by SAMANTHA?

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LMAO...I was going to call you!!
Wasn't sure what to make of that.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

I don't want to stop procrastinating...I like who I am and accomplish what needs to be done. I put things off but no need for intervention.

thediaperdiaries said...

Bummer, I just came over to tell you all about stop, but someone beat me to it :)

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Sam's a spam and so is diapers kick them to the curb.
Vacations are for relaxation, you can run around and drive yourself nuts at home.

sista #2 said...

Its not a vacation if you have to run all over. Gimme a beer, place my ass in the yard and I am good to go.